Every day, I get lots of crazy emails. Usually they’re harmless whimsical comments like, “I wish I could fondle you like I do every morning with my pet poodle.” Or “how much would you charge to shove a hampster up your ass?” Or “could you make me some tea by pissing into a cup and then microwaving it with one of your used tampons?”
But every now and then, I get an email that stands apart from the rest. The other day, I received just such a note — a genuine death-by-torture threat from a real psycho killer.
His full message is pasted below. Once you’ve read it, I’d be very curious to get your opinions: Why do you think this nutbag wants to torture me to death?
Here are some of my personal theories:
1) He’s jealous because I look better in panties than he does.
2) He can’t cope with the guilt he feels when he secretly sucks cock in panties.
3) He’s the ex-chastity bitch whose key I accidentally misplaced last summer.
And with no further ado …
From: someone <Masacru4Cn@hotmail.com>
Subject: Hey you slut.
You are one of the lowest human beings on this fucking planet. I’d hammer each piece of your body and watch you suffer. No fetish intended here. I just can’t stand you or people like you. I just wanna torture you till you fucking die. Stupid cunt